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Weird Body Shape

I’m definitely losing weight, but where I’m losing weight is strange.

Before this journey I had relatively thin legs, a little butt, wide feet, and small-ish breasts. The first place I noticed a reduced size was in my feet. Weird! (see my post from June 18) Then my breasts, butt, and legs! The places I didn’t need to lose! I went from a B cup bra to a saggy A.

Then I noticed I was smaller in my shoulders. Instead of my arms angling out in an upside-down V, then were more straight up and down because of the lack of body fat on my sides. I measured the other day and my bra band size has gone from 54 to 46. Do you know how hard it is to find bras in a 46A? I think it’s even harder than a 54B, which I used to wear.

I have always had a big belly. Here I am, over 80 lbs lighter, and I *still* have a big belly! Annoying! I’m down about 2 sizes in pants, but my belly is still my most pronounced feature. Frustrating! A bunch of it is loose skin; I will definitely be having plastic surgery, hopefully as soon as next year.

Finally, another really frustrating area for me is the mons area, the area covering the pubic bone. Mins has always been very full. Now it’s like a deflated ballon. Definitely on the list for plastic surgery!

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Thrift Store Clothes

I’m a big fan of “reuse” in clothes; I love to shop at thrift stores. But because of my size I haven’t been able to find anything that fit me for many years.

Dani went to a thrift store today and came back with two shirts and two pairs of shorts for me. The shorts are size 36 and 40 (men’s), and I’m still pretty big around the waist, so it will be a while before they fit. The two shirts are a little snug, but are close to being my size. They are a size XL! I haven’t worn an XL since… I can’t remember when! I have been a 4XL for many years. I remember being a 3XL maybe 20 years ago, but don’t have a solid memory of anything smaller than that for probably 30 years.

Weird, but kinda cool

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First Closet Purge

When packing for my recent weekend trip I went through my shirts to decide what to wear. I realized that I didn’t want to wear most of them because they were too big., Comfy, but falling off a shoulder or just looking like a big tent. Last night I pulled about 20 shirts off hangers to take out of my closet. I’m not willing to completely part with them, but will be bringing in a bin to save them in. I’ll part with them later.

I might need to go shopping for shirts…

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Party Clothes

Went to an event at the SF Eagle with the leather community, but had angst because most of my cute clothes are too big. Not a bad problem to have, but still difficult. Came up with a very cute outfit that showed off my new physique.

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Handling Stalls

A “stall” is when weight loss stops for a period of time, at least a week if not more. I’m in a couple of Facebook groups for people who’ve had weight loss surgery, and by far, the most common post is a panicked or frustrated post from someone who’s stalled. It can be 2 weeks after surgery, 6 months after surgery, or even a year after surgery. Invariably it’s something like “The scale hasn’t moved at all in <some time period>. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong! I’m doing just what I was doing before, getting in exercise, water, and protein, but nothing. What can I do to break this stall?”

The advice people give runs the gamut, including…

  • Eat more
  • Eat less
  • Eat more carbs
  • Eat less carbs
  • Eat more protein
  • Eat less protein
  • Exercise more
  • Exercise less
  • Don’t do weight work, only do cardio
  • Cut back on cardio, start some weight work

You get the point.

Almost always someone says they did one or more of these and the stall broke the next week/day. However the other option is to just stay the course; keep doing what you’re doing and your body will kick in again. The problem is that we just don’t know what stopped the stall: doing one or more of the above, or just waiting.

I’ve been in many stalls since my surgery, which was just 5 months ago. Mostly I’ve just continued doing the same thing. I’ve increased my carbs and calories a little bit to see what will happen. We’ll see…

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3 appointments, 3 days of walking

Turns out I had 4 separate doctor’s appointments this week, on Monday (2), Tuesday, and Wednesday. I had a great victory: I walked from my car to the appointments and back again. And on one of the trips I took the stairs down from the 3rd floor.

My back hurt progressively more each day, but it’s not hurting to the point where I feel like I need to take Tylenol. Almost, but not quite. The hard part is knowing if this walking is irritating my back more, or if walking will actually help re-develop my walking muscles. I guess I’ll keep walking, and see what happens.

Meanwhile, the scale stays stuck; no movement in 3 weeks. Sigh.

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Walking and Weight and Hunger

Walked again today. Just up to the stop sign and back. A couple of hundred yards. I put on my sneakers for the first time since I wore them to the gym in February of 2020. (I’ve been wearing my walking sandals during the pandemic, but they finally bit the dust a few weeks ago.)

It feels really weird. My back hurts some, but mostly my hips are complaining. They’re not used to walking. I’m really working on my gait, keeping my feet aligned and my arms moving and not rocking back and forth. I didn’t walk far, but I walked, and it felt great.

On the other hand, my weight hasn’t budged in a while. As usual. It’s really hard to stay motivated. I generally eat between 900 and 1000 calories. Some people think this is too little, so I upped it to 1100-1300 for a few days. Back down around 1000 now. I’m getting in my daily vitamins, water (80-90 oz), protein (75-90gm). Even with some walking, my chair aerobics, and yoga. Stuck. Grrr.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m hungry a lot more all of a sudden. Maybe my body is saying yes, please eat! Or maybe it’s self-sabotage. I get people advising me to eat more, or just ignore it, or drink more. Nobody really knows what to do, and nothing seems to help.

Can you tell I’m on a bit of a downer?

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Learning How To Walk Again

Can’t believe it: I’m walking more. Not a lot, but I’m walking. Out on the property, out in the world. Very short distances, but walking.

Rio tells me I have a strange gait. My feet splay out to the sides and I rock back and forth. I think it’s from years of walking with a huge belly and while in pain. I’ve been concentrating on my feet and my gait. It hurts when I walk “right. I guess it’s from years of walking “wrong”. I need to retrain those muscles.

But I’m walking!

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I Went For A Walk

After yesterday’s walking experience I decided to dabble in the amazing and elusive world of walking. Rio and I took off towards the little park that’s about 100 yards up the street. Up a gentle slop, then a steeper slope up the driveway to the park. My hips and lower back hurt, but not bad. I did not get out of breath. * We set on a bench for a few minutes, then did something I’ve loved to do before: climb on the play structure and go down the slide. Then we walked back.

Sounds simple, but it was a HUGE deal for me to just decide to go for a walk, enjoy the outdoors, and be a kid for a few minutes. I admit I got choked up. I haven’t been able to just go for a walk since about 2014.

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Oops, but yay!

So I had a doctors appointment today. It’s a reasonable length walk to get to the appointment because you have to go all the way into the main entrance and go through a Covid check and then all the way back to the clinic and up the elevator, so I generally use my scooter to get upstairs. Within the last six months I’ve been leaving the scooter in the waiting room and walking in to my appointment from there.
Today I got out of the car and started to pull my scooter out of the trunk, and realized that I had left the battery at home on the charger. Either I was going to miss the appointment, I’d be very late, or I was going to walk in. I chose to walk in.

I got upstairs, and my back was sore, but not excruciating. I got through the appointment, walked down to get an x-ray, and walked back out to the car. I am in pain, but not bad at all.

Victory!!