As an adult I went from being fat to being super fat. The difference in visibility is that while I was fat, people noticed, but it wasn’t crazy. When I became super fat, I started getting stared at, first by children, then by adults. Generally the adults looked at me with disgust, or at least disdain, in their faces. I was constantly aware of being super fat, putting up barriers to the negative emotions hurled at me and trying to brush off the stares (and occasional comments) as if they meant nothing, even though each one hurt.
I am no longer super fat, although I am still fat. I really notice the difference in how I am perceived in the world. I don’t get stared at in that in the same way. I don’t get those negatives. I am mostly just ignored. It’s such a relief to blend in. I don’t really, because I’m still fat, but the almost 90 lbs I’ve lost have made a world of difference in my stress level.
I just wish this society wasn’t so fat-hating. I wish it didn’t make so much of a difference.
The next time you notice a fat person, especially a fat woman, please smile in recognition that they are likely struggling.
