My stall seemed to be over, but this week I’ve actually *gained* 2 lbs. Trying not to freak out. Lots of people talk about this happening, and I should chill and be patient, but I’m not happy.
Stall is over, but now clothing purging and angst
I was really frustrated when my weight stalled at 263 for a long time, then crept down to 261 and sat there. But in the last 3 or 4 weeks the scale has been moving, and I’m down to 250. I haven’t been below 250 pounds since my early 20’s.
I’ve been able to put on some pants that are labeled XL. They’re really too tight to wear, but I could actually pull them up. It’s kinda surreal.
I’ve been able to wear a lot of my shorts during this journey because they have drawstrings, which I’ve been continuing to tighten. Today I had to choose to not wear a pair that didn’t have a drawstring because I knew they would be slipping down all day, and I need to go out to an appointment today. Time to get rid of them!
The other day after I washed some of the clothes I got from Rio’s sister, I decided to make room for them by purging my closet. They were all tops, so I went through and got rid of tops that were “OK”: not my favorites, but I’d worn them because they fit. I think I got rid of about 20 of them!
Then I went to purge my pants. I know most of them are too big because of trying them on when packing for our trip. But I was unable to part with any. It was the weirdest emotional feeling. You see, for years pants have been a real struggle. Because of my small legs and but, and massively oversized belly, I just couldn’t find nice pants. When I found some, I bought several, and have hung onto some for 15 years or more, patching as the seams wore through, clinging to them. Many styles that worked for me are no longer made, so that it.
I think it was about fear: fear that I will regain weight and not be able to find pants. For now they are still in my closet. I will likely put them aside soon, but put them in a box and keep them until I’m sure I won’t need them again. If that ever happens…
Clothes! And the seatbelt thing…
While I was at Rio’s sister’s in Montana, she decided it was a good time to clean out her closet. She and I have some similar tastes in clothes, and she’s a bit smaller than me, so I got to be the beneficiary of her efforts. I picked out a bunch of shirts in sizes 18 up to 3X. Some fit me now (I wore one home), but some are a bit smaller. Hard for me to imagine myself in the smaller sizes, but I expect I’ll get there. I do need more shirts, though; some of my shirts are hanging seductively off my shoulders because they are too large.
Oh, and on the way home I didn’t need an extender again, so it wasn’t just a one-time thing. It seemed a little easier even, which was borne out by the fact that when I got home I weighed myself, and was down 3 pounds during the week we were traveling. Pretty cool.
Creeping along
It’s extremely common to have many “stalls” along the way, times when your body stops losing weight, kind of playing “catch up”. I have only lost a few pounds over the last few weeks. I know this is normal, and I know it will kick in again, but it’s really hard not to be depressed about it. Plus my back has been unhappy for a few days. Overall it’s been tough. Sticking with it, though.
About my weight… scary to talk about numbers
So far I haven’t posted anything about my actual weight. I’m going to start being more open about that. Here are my stats:
- Highest: 315
- Knee surgery (12/7/21): 298
- Before starting the pre-op diet (5/24/21): 287
- Surgery (6/7/21): 281
- Now (15 days post-op, 6/22/21): 265
Check out the whole timeline, which includes these numbers and other interesting data.
Weight Update: 13 days after Surgery
I started putting together a timeline of this whole journey. In doing so, I looked at my weight. I was at my highest weight ever last year. I started eating differently in about October, knowing I had to lose about 20 pounds before my doctor would do my knee replacement surgery. I did that in December, and continued to lose a bit more. Then I stalled for many months until I did the pre-op diet, when I lose a little more. I’ve now lost about 12 pounds since surgery. I wasn’t thinking any of this was remarkable until I thought about the whole journey so far. As of yesterday, I’ve lost almost 50 pounds from my highest weight.
9-day Update: Food, Pain Meds, Diabetes Meds
I’m continuing pureed foods, what Dani calls my “goop”. I’ve added small amounts of cottage cheese (pureeing that too), and I seem to be tolerating that well. Will slowly add in some other foods over the next few days.
The best news is that I’m off pretty much all pain meds. Even those I was taking before surgery! I still have back pain, but the pain level is about what it was before the surgery, but without meds! I’ve lost about 10 lbs since surgery, but I’m having a hard time believing that just that amount of weight loss can make so much of a difference. So I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m not complaining.
No major changes in terms of diabetes meds. I’m having to take 500 mg of Metformin just about every day, and still take Lantus some days.
I have my post-op appointment with Dr. Foster on Tuesday; will let you know how that goes.