Today Rio said I seemed happier since losing weight. I had to think about that.
The fact of losing weight, by itself, is not making me happier. I don’t care about weight, and know that being thin does not equal being happy. But she’s right, I am happier. Well, perhaps not “happier”, but less stressed.
Being super fat adds a level of stress to most activities. Just being out in public is stressful because of the amount of disapproval I’ve gotten, like stares, cat-calls, and overtly hostile comments. The medical community judged me. I was stressed about whether I could walk between two tables in a restaurant, or sit in a booth. I was stressed about chairs not holding me, and what clothes to wear because there are few cute clothes in super plus sizes. I was stressed about being seen eating in public. The list goes on and on.
And now, still fat but definitely not super-fat, I am not feeling those stressors the way I used to. So I am less stressed.
Happier? Maybe, but I don’t actually think so. I’m just less stressed.